Because I'm having one of those weeks...
- Your old comments have moved to a comment retirement home in South Florida.
Don't let the wrinkled skin fool you. That's them partying in the pool. The air in Vegas was too dry.
- As for your new comments, ninety percent of them read "It looks good. I have learned a new recruit. Recently I have found a new online store, the [insert spammy store url] are completely various, good quality and cheap price, it's worth buying!"
- Your waistline budges more than your Google Friend Connect follower count.
- You have considered calling 1-800-Rent-a-Kid in order to increase your following.
- Your blog hasn't been worth more than four Entrecard credits in months.
- After looking at your analytics and seeing how many times your own IP address appears on the visitor log, you realize that you could be brought up on charges for stalking yourself.
- Some days you would rather scrub toilets than write a blog post.
- You believe blog conventions should be in the same category as root canals, high school reunions, and that CLE beach trip the State Bar holds every summer.
- You read a meme question that says, "Do you think it's fair to get thrown out of a meme?" and your first thought is, "What the hell did I do?"
- Your blog somehow manages to show up in such Google search queries as "sucking finger," "wet poo," "swinging boobs," "pantyhose camel toe," "kiss my vagina," and "Bengay on balls," and still no one, not even the kinky freaks, click through.
(Seriously though, who Googles Bengay on balls, and what exactly did that person do to his balls that would require them to need Bengay? I'm scared to Google it myself to find out.)
