They May Be Stopped Up, But They Work Better Than a Weather Vane

The rain has not gone away. Neither has my sinus headache. Therefore, I am making today's Flat Ass Friday flaw my moody sinuses. Sometimes they like me. Sometimes they hate me, and sometimes like today I'm pretty sure they are trying to kill me.

I will admit that having moody sinuses definitely sucks sometimes, like when they cause your nose to bleed in the middle of court or when their drainage causes your voice to sound like a cross between the teacher from Ferris Bueller's Day Off and Kermit the Frog. Nevertheless, there are some benefits to having them.

Top Ten Benefits of Having Moody Sinuses

1. I never need the weatherman to tell me if rain is on the way.
2. I am single-handedly keeping the antihistamine companies in business during the recession.
3. I save money on electricity ever time I have to turn off the lights to keep a sinus headache from progressing to vomiting.
   
4. I can totally sympathize with my super-allergic dog.
5. I can also sympathize with that horror movie villain who had all the pins in his face. No wonder he went on a killing spree. The antihistamines and pain killers weren't working.
   
6. If the sinus pain is bad enough, I don't even pay attention to my kidney stones and menstrual cramps.
   
7. Late night last night? Just stand next to me. Your dark circles will pale in comparison to my allergy shiners.
8. Let a secret slip? Don't worry about it. Chances are my ears are so stopped up, I didn't hear it anyway.
9. Need a Benadryl, Claritin, or Tylenol? No need to pull out your wallet or to find the nearest drug store. I can give you one.
10. Need a good laugh? Just watch me try to walk a straight line when my sinuses are clogged at maximum capacity or I'm doped up on antihistamines.

I won't be walking any straight lines today or trying to drive them, but I may attempt an anti-rain dance. I miss the sun and the ability to smell.