My paper shredder keeps dying on me. Seeing as it keeps coming back to life for 10 minute intervals every few hours or so, I guess you could say it goes into a coma or passes out. Just the same, I need a new one, but the cheapest one they have at Walmart is nearly $30. When did paper shredders get so expensive? I swear they only used to be $15.
My leg muscles are killing me today. For some reason, I thought it might be a good thing to jog on the treadmill Sunday night. Believe me when I say I am not a jogger. I get side stitches. The twins move way too much. My arches end up feeling like they've been strapped into some type of medieval torture device. Just the same, I tried to jog Sunday night. Now I'm paying for it. I can't even pee without it hurting.
I'm tired of the cold, not because it is cold per se, but because my heater has barely cut off the last week. I'm scared my gas bill is going to be $300 next month. My skin is also not coping well. It's so dry that I find myself scratching all night long. I'm like a dog with fleas, only Advantage is doing nothing for me. I'm in desperate need of Aveeno and a bottle of vinegar to clean my humidifier with. I forgot both yesterday when I went to the store. I did, however, remember the chocolate and the caffeine. Priorities, Staci. It's all about the priorities.
Is there such a thing a post menstrual syndrome? If so, I think I have it in spades this week. I almost cried when the undercover cop died on House last night. I never cry, especially at stuff like that.
I think my dogs need canine Prozac. They've done nothing but sleep since we came home. They've barely even touched their bones. Every single day at my grandmother's, they would drag me to the car when I would take them out so I know they can't be missing that nuthouse. What gives?
While we're on the subject of dogs, I'm starting to think mine don't like me anymore either. Before Christmas, they both slept next to me. Since we've gotten back, Bella sleeps on her dog bed most nights, and Bailey sleeps at the foot of the bed. Do I stink and not know it? Have I started kicking in my sleep? Is my snoring worse than theirs? They're making me paranoid.
I watched The Final Destination on On Demand Sunday night. What a waste of a sequel. It was barely even gory, let alone suspenseful. I could have written a better plot line than that on an hour of sleep, and don't even get me started on the acting. Were there no better actors available? The first Final Destination had Ali Larter from Heroes. The second had A.J. Cook from Criminal Minds. The third had that girl that would go on to play the daughter in Die Hard 4 or 5 or whatever number we're on. Yippee ki yay...This one had no one but Krista Allen, and she was really on it for like 10 minutes. Seriously, were there no out of work soap stars or reality show contestants available? I want my $5 back.
I have this red, swollen, lump-like place in my left nostril that is worrying me. It's making my nose feel like someone hit it. I don't know what to do about it other than use my neti pot once a day and hope for the best. So far the best hasn't come.
I hate my hair cut. I didn't prior to Christmas. I thought it was manageable and perky. Then I saw a photo of myself on Step Skank's digital camera. Yuck. It's a miracle I didn't break the thing. Is there any chance she messed around with the settings to purposefully make me look that bad? If not, I'm just going to grow the cut out and then wear my hair over my face like Cousin It.
If scientists that be can invent robotic vacuum cleaners like the Zoomba that vacuum when you're not at home, why can't they invent the same for your backyard? I want a gadget that pooper scoops the backyard for me; all I have to do is turn it on. It might be the only way my backyard gets cleaned up until it warms up.
There is some nasty, black, furry stuff growing on the fake plants in my aquarium. I scrubbed the heck out of them Saturday, but the furry stuff wouldn't come off. Either I need to buy a new log (the plants are attached to it), or I need to add an algae eater fish to my collection. Yeah, like that's what I need, one more stinking pet to clean up after.
I can't wait to do my roots tonight. I feel more human when my roots aren't silver and white. This random guy held the door for me yesterday at Walmart and called me ma'am. He made me want to run back inside, buy the first hat I could find, and put it on. Ma'am? Ugh! A month away from 34--does that make me mid-30's now--and I'm a ma'am. Why don't you just take me out to the pasture and shoot me already? If the gun jams, just sign me up the Support Hose of the Month Club. That's what ma'ams wear.
While I'm trying to find my bifocals and teeth, you should check out other bloggers' Random Tuesday Thoughts at The Unmom.
