Take a look at these two pictures. Do you know what those little brown things are?
Those of you who have followed my tweets on Twitter today already know the answer to that question. For those of you who haven't, let me fill you in. They are dried up tapeworms. I found them on one of the bed pillows, on the sheets, and on the comforter about an hour ago. Ever since then, I have felt like I need to call the CDC and ask if I can use one of their decontamination chambers to get clean. Gross, gross, gross.
Seriously, people. What if I was sleeping with my mouth open last night? What if a whole swarm of them crawled out of the dogs' butts--I wiped both of their butts last night before I went to sleep so the worms had to crawl out of them, not off--across those two or three inches of bed, and into my mouth? What if they crawled a few more inches into my pajama bottoms, my underwear, and a warm, dark place? Someone please hand me an enema, a scouring pad, and a giant bottle of bleach stat. I'm going to need them.
Since the dogs didn't have fleas or worms until they came into contact with my sisters' dogs, I have half a mind to put all the dead tapeworms, a thank you card, and the receipts for the Advantage and tapeworm pills in an envelope and mail it to her. Since my sister isn't the brightest bulb, I doubt that she would get the point so I guess I'll just have to settle for thanking her with my middle finger.
I'm sorry I never got my Take a Memo Monday post done yesterday. I decided to give my blog a makeover, and as usual it took longer than I thought it would thanks to Internet Explorer. It never fails that you can get a design to look perfect in Firefox, Chrome, Opera, and Safari, only to have it look like crap in Internet Explorer. I was up to 1 a.m. trying to figure out why my favicon won't show up in either IE7 or 8. I'm using an .ico file like I'm supposed to. I'm using the language that I'm supposed to. It still won't work. The only thing that I can figure is something got screwed up when I used one of those converter tools to change the image from a .png to an .ico file. Anyway, I plan on doing the post tomorrow.
Have you ever driven down a road in a direction you don't normally drive and suddenly everything looks different? I did that today after I decided to use a free sandwich coupon at the new Arby's that is past Petsmart. The shopping center looked really weird on that side of the road.
I have to catch up on Lost this week, or I will be totally lost on Lost next week. Not that I'm not lost on Lost even when I'm caught up and therefore technically not lost in the sense of being behind. I probably just lost a lot of you on what I just said. Sorry.
I heart Rimadyl. I know that it has killed some dogs. I know it has screwed up some others, but for right now I consider it a rock star drug, mostly because Bella is finally walking on her bad lag. It's not a great walk. It's like a cross between a limp, a skip, and the bunny hop, but I'll take a "skimpy hop" any day over not walking at all.
When I was trying to decide what seamless pattern to use for my background, I kept returning to this image on Stockxpert:
I was going to use it until I finally realized why I kept returning to it:
Yeah, I had a real light bulb moment yesterday. I liked it because it looked my purse. Duh.
Last week I bought new Loreal's facial cleanser, the one with the little scrub brush, at Kroger on sale. I was so excited to use it. Excited isn't the word that I would use now. My face is so dry and flaky it hurts to move it. I'm amazed that I don't look like the Joker. Go, go, go, with a smile. If I had some red lipstick, maybe I would. Instead, I'm just go, go, going with chapstick and a hefty dose of moisturizer.
I hate my right kidney, and my right kidney hates me. Who knew a box of frozen pancakes would be loaded with sodium? Obviously, not me. Now I'm paying for it. I wouldn't mind being the blunt end of an urban legend right now so long as the ice in the tub was crushed--I'm thinking any other kind would hurt--and the wacko I met in the bar took the right kidney.
I got this spam comment today on my blog: "A family began to suspect that someone was peeping into the window of their 16-year-old’s daughter’s bedroom window." It was on post about Bailey eating my blinds. WTH? Did the spammer think "nice blog," "good job," and all the penis enlargement stuff was overrated? While I like to encourage creativity in people, when it comes to spammers I think they need to stick to the classics.
For more random thoughts, be sure to stop by The UnMom.
