Thursday Thunks: The Post-Thanksgiving Edition

Sorry I haven't posted anything all week, but I didn't get home until late Monday. I spent most of Tuesday buying and decorating a Christmas tree; let's just say I now remember why I have had fake, prelit ones in the past. Can you say "stupid lights"? I wish someone would invent a strand of lights that would jump out of the box and hang perfectly spaced apart on the tree all by themselves. I don't care how much those lights would cost; I would buy them in a heartbeat, even if it meant living off of ramen noodles until the following Christmas. Then yesterday Bella had her polyp removed, and today...well, I'm not sure where today has gone. If you find it hiding somewhere, will you let me know?

Anyway, here is today's Thursday Thunks, courtesy of the Thursday Thunks Blog. I think tomorrow I'll do Take a Memo Monday, albeit a few days late. I may just have to call it I Forgot the Memo Monday.

1. Sometimes when you are sitting around doing nothing, a thought randomly pops into your head. How many measuring cups do you own?

Okay. I had to actually go to the kitchen and count these.

1 metal
1 plastic that I keep in the dog food bag
5 other plastic ones that I can find
? plastic ones I can't find

Seven seems like a lot, considering my tendency to set things on fire cooking skills. I used to have a lot more measuring cups, as the plastic ones came in a set from the dollar store. However, I have lost quite a few over the years, as I tend to use them to collect urine specimens when Bella has symptoms of a UTI and they subsequently get lost in the dark abyss known as my outside storage closet.

2. What is your favorite ice cream topping?

Duh. Chocolate.

3. Egg nog - is it digestible?

Not if you're too chicken lactose-intolerant to try it.

4. Were you one of the insane humans who went to a store last Friday?

Yes, but in my own defense, I did not go until about 3 p.m. so I'm only partially insane. My nephew wanted to go skateboarding at the skate park, but he had lost his bike helmet. Since no one wanted him to end up brain damaged--a.k.a. as dumb as my sister/his mother--we had to go buy him another one. In furtherance of my defense, said trip also resulted in me having the pin code to my sister's debit card (like I was going to buy the helmet). You never know when those four little numbers might come in handy.

5. There are 12 months in a year and anywhere from 28 - 31 days in a month, depending on the year, of course. Each day holds a special meaning for someone; some days hold a special meaning for everybody. Do you have a 2010 calendar yet?

Nope so if anyone wants to send me one for Christmas...

6. Kids are funny sometimes and say the darnedest things, but it's okay because they are kids and they are so adorable. A two year old is cute when they say a swear word. Admit it, they are. What was your favorite nursery rhyme growing up? Hey, if you don't have a favorite, just work with me here and pick the first one that fell off the wall and broke like an egg or came out of the sky like a cow who just jumped over the moon.

I wouldn't say this was my favorite nursery rhyme, but I heard it enough for obvious reasons:

There was a little girl who had a little curl, right in the middle of her forehead, and when she was good, she was very good, but when she was bad, she was horrid.


It always made me wonder what my family would have said had I been born with straight hair.

7. Most of us have some type of machine that people like to call 'vehicles'. Some are blue, some are yellow, and some are red. Some have trunks, some have beds and some even can't decide if they are a car or a truck. We put gas in them, check the oil, drive them all over the place, and stop them in places called parking spots. Picture in your mind the machine you currently own, and if you own more than one, picture the one you last drove. When was the last time you had a new tire on it?

About four years ago or so, which means it's probably about time for a new set. Why not? Everything else on the Redneck Mobile seems to have broken over the last few months. The tires might as well go next.

(Hey, Universe, that's me being facetious. Please don't curse me with a flat tire in the morning. Please, I'm begging you.

Thanks.)

8. For those of us on Facebook, do you wish to share your Facebook identity with us?

I'm not on Facebook, mostly because I'm scared my picture would be so ugly that people would leave the site in mass droves and make MySpace the more popular of the two again. With my luck, the powers that be at Facebook would then sue me for some kind of visual slander.

It could happen...maybe.

9. Santa's coming! Where's the best place to hide presents? Any clever little tricks for keeping those nosey people from ruining the surprise?

My kids have four legs and fur so you would think I could hide my presents for them/from Santa anywhere. So not true. One year I hid their stocking stuffers in the pantry, and every day for two weeks Bella would sit in front of the pantry and cry like a baby. Finally, I just gave up and gave her and Bailey the presents early.

In other words, if I can't hide presents from two dogs, I surely can't hide them from human kids so I'm the last person who should be giving advice on the subject.

10. Have you heard that the world is going to end in 2012? Some people think that the world isn't actually going to go BOOM! and be no more; they think that the "end of the world" is actually going to be a worldwide takeover by a certain country and/or religion, which all has to do with the current president of the USA. Do you agree?

As for the world going boom, I've already expressed my opinion on the subject. If you need a reminder, here it is: A Memo to My Sister.

As for the idea that President Obama may somehow cause the world to end, I say this: take your doomsday theories, your tea parties, and your overall ignorance and shove them where the sun still won't shine in 2012. I had to put up with your less-than-stellar choice for president for eight years; now you can put up with mine.

Oh, and didn't Nostradamus or someone like that predict the village idiot would lead the world in 2000? And who got elected that year?

Yeah, that's what I thought.

11. Butterfly, butterfly fluttering through the air, please don't land on my freshly washed hair. What brand of shampoo did you use this morning? (And for those of you who still stink... think of yesterday morning... and if that still doesn't apply to you, go get your stinky butt in the shower!)

Nutri-Ox for Chemically Treated Hair (The real Nioxin is too expensive.)