A Memo to My Sister, Plus Top Droppers

TO: Your Royal Highness

FROM: Your Disgruntled Sibling

DATE: November 2, 2009

SUBJECT: Late Night Calls

Halloween night you called me at 1 a.m. While I was not asleep at the time, I could have been, a fact you seem oblivious to. As that night was not the first time you have called me during what you consider normal hours but what the rest of the world considers bed time, I thought it was time we established some ground rules.

From now on, please abide by the following terms and conditions when you call me:

1. Do not call after 11 p.m. unless one of the following conditions apply:

• Someone that I know has died or is about to die.
• Someone that I know's dog has died or is about to die.
• Either Publisher's Clearinghouse and/or the team from Extreme Home Makeover is 15 minutes from my house, and you want me to put on a bra before they knock on the door.

2. Enunciate when you call. I know for a fact that you don't eat rocks on a regular basis since none of the local fast food joints sell them on the dollar menu. Therefore, there is no need to sound like you have a mouth full of them every time you speak to me.

3. If you want to speak to me, speak to me directly. Do not make your nine-year-old son, who has obviously been on a six-hour, Halloween candy binge, act as your intermediary. If whatever you have to say is important enough for me to hear in the middle of the night, it is important enough for you to say yourself.

4. If you're going to prank call me, please try to stick to the classics. Breathe heavily. Tell me that you saw what I did, and you know who I am. Ask me if I have Prince Albert in a can. Just please don't ask me if I think the world is going to end in 2012. If it's past 11 p.m., chances are I'm not going to have the patience to explain to you in slow, one-syllable-worded speech that 2012 is a fictional movie starring John Cusack. It is not--I repeat, is not--a documentary.

If you promise to abide by these simple rules, I promise not to get in my car, drive four hours, sneak into the house, and beat you senseless with one of Daddy Goff's old canes.

_____________________________________

Now for October's Top Entrecard Droppers:

Hugz Before You Go
The Way I See It
Junk Drawer
CAP News
Bloody Computer!
Cute as a Buggy
Recycled Frockery
Mama Asid's Entrepod
BadGalSays
Better Spines

Thanks for dropping!