I watch The Amazing Race for the same reason I majored in international relations. It may be as close as I ever come to traveling outside the southern United States. I still can't believe Mica and Canaan got eliminated over a water slide in Dubai last night. While I'm not that fond of heights myself, I have been down plenty of water slides at Wet n' Wild in Orlando and Crystal Lake in South Georgia. (No, it's not that Crystal Lake. To my knowledge, no one by the name of Jason Voorhees has ever drowned and/or gone on a killing spree there.) If you get queasy when you look down, you just close your eyes and go. If there's a million dollars standing between you and the pool at the bottom, you go even faster, but that's just me. Obviously, it was not Mica and Canaan.I would love to audition for that show, but even if I had a promotional hook (the beauty queen and her husband, the recently separated couple, the newlyweds, the Big Brother stars, etc.) and the looks for it, I would never make it past the first episode. Here's why. First, I have a horrible sense of direction that is pretty much genetic. I could get lost in a cardboard box, even with a GPS, a bread crumb trail, a film crew, and a big sign that says, "Exit here." Second, my bladder just could not handle it. Remember that episode last season where the woman got eliminated because she had to use the port-a-potty? That would be me, except I would probably have to use a second one right before Phil said I was out and then a third afterward.
So basically if I want to travel the world one day, I'm either going to have to stock up on Depends or do it on my own ticket, not on CBS's. Now would be a good time to visit Asia Pacific on my own dime, thanks to Accor Hotels 3-Day Super Sale Asia Pacific. Between October 27 and October 29, online prices for one million hotel rooms in the Asia Pacific area will be slashed drastically, some going as low as $30 per night. For instance, say I wanted to learn how to surf in Bali. (I pity the surf instructor who would have to teach me, but that's an entirely different subject.) If I were to book a room on Accor's web site during the 3-Day Super Sale, I could possibly get a room in Bali for $75 per night. That's cheaper than a room here during race weekend.
Say I wanted to then try some authentic shrimp on the barbie or chocolate thunder from down under somewhere other than my local Outback Steakhouse. During the 3-Day Super Sale, I could book a room in Australia for $87 per night. I could also visit the orphanage that Angelina Jolie adopted Maddox from for $50 per night or give out of breath hiking the Great Wall of China for $58 per night.
Travel dates booked during the 3-Day Super Sale must be between December 9, 2009 and April 10, 2010. The sale coincides with all time low prices on airfare in the Asia Pacific region so you should get a great deal all around. For more information on the 3-Day Super Sale, click the "Support My Sponsor" link below.
While I'm tempted to take advantage of the sale myself, I realize that I would have to visit all those places by myself, which isn't necessarily the most fun way to do it. I would also have to board my dogs or find someone to babysit them while I was gone. I can just imagine it now. I would shell out the money for tickets and a hotel room. I'd get my first passport. I'd buy some cute traveling clothes. I would get excited about all the places I was going to visit. Then five minutes after I arrived at Hartsfield-Jackson International Airport, I would get a call from the vet or the pet hotel that was keeping the dogs. "Uh, ma'am, I'm sorry to bother you, but Bella is howling and hyperventilating, and she won't let any of us near her. We can't do anything with her so you're going to have to come get her." My "amazing race" would subsequently become a not-so-amazing race to pick up my dogs in rush hour traffic on 1-75, not a trip around the world.
Oh well. At least I still have the show.
