The good news: The droopy siding is no more. See:
The bad news: It took two hours, not five minutes, to fix it. As it turns out, the whole dang thing was falling down--the gutter, the soffit, the fascia, all of it. (Don't you love how I can Google the proper terms for "that droopy thing under the roof and next to the gutter"? It makes me sound all smart.) My dad had to basically pull off half the fascia, knock loose half of the gutter, wedge his hammer in between the gutter and soffit, nail the soffit back to the roof, nail the gutter back to the soffit, and then replace the fascia. He did all this while hanging onto the open window with one foot and, on occasion, one hand. He was making me so nervous that my Chick-Fil-A breakfast kept threatening to come back up. Should he ever have to climb back out there, I'm either not eating or I'm choosing dry toast.
The I-can't-believe-they're-that-stupid news: After my dad got through fixing the gutter, I took the pictures you see above and attempted to email them to Subdivision Services. The first email came back undeliverable since the violations email box was full. I tried calling the number in the letter several times but only got a busy signal. Having called them before, I know that the number has multiple extensions so unless someone was on every extension, the phone wasn't busy; it was off the hook. After 30 minutes of trying, I finally got someone to hang the phone up, answer my call, and give me an alternate email address. I sent them the pictures plus a message that said that my father fixed the gutter and siding this morning.
A few minutes ago I received the following response:
"Thank you for sending us this information. Please provide me with a date when this was done."
Are they kidding me? I sent the email TODAY. I said the gutter was fixed TODAY. Now maybe I'm going out on a limb here, but could that date be TODAY?
I'm guessing Little Miss Clueless either didn't have a calendar in front of her or didn't bother to read the email. She just looked at the pretty pictures. I wanted to email her back, "Today, dumbass," but I didn't. Instead, I just told her, "Like I said in the previous email, he fixed it today, October 8 (this morning)." The lawyer in me then added a line saying that I was within my seven days allowed by the letter. I don't want a $250 fine so I'm going to do everything I can to cover my butt, even if that means pointing out the obvious.
I can't wait to see Subdivision Services' next response. I suspect it will be along the lines of, "And what year was that in?"
It will be all I can do not to email back, "2179."
I look pretty good for 203.
