Since my old dentist fixed my back tooth, I have been sleeping significantly better. Instead of tossing and turning all night, I have been falling asleep within 15 minutes of my head hitting the pillow. Just yesterday I was thinking of how lucky I was to be sleeping normally again. Then last night happened. Here is a little peek at how my night went:Tick.
Ah, I love my new pillow.
Tock.
What the hell is that sound?
Tick.
It's the stinkin' wall clock again, isn't it?
Tock.
Damn, it's loud. I should have never replaced the battery.
Tick.
Maybe if I turn over it won't be as loud.
Tock.
No, it still sounds like I'm stuck inside a Timex. Takes a licking. Keeps on ticking...and ticking...and ticking...
Tick.
Maybe if I put the pillow over my head, I won't be able to hear it.
Tock.
I'm suffocating! I'm suffocating!
Tick.
Air! I need air!
Tock.
Sweet, beautiful air! I don't care if you smell like a dirty dog. I still love you.
Tick.
Will it ever stop? It's okay. I can ignore it. It's all about will power.
Tock.
You do not exist. You do not exist.
Tick.
You do exist! You do! Is this water Chinese water torture feels like?
Tock.
The Smurfs' all time show. You'll have a good time. We know. We know. We know.
Tick.
Where the hell did that come from? Out of my head! Out! Out! Out!
Tock.
There's a smile in my pocket, and it belongs across my--we know, we know, we know. The Smurfs' all time--
Tick.
Stop! Just stop! It's like the clock is making every song from my childhood emerge from my subconscious.
Tock.
What's next? Rags to Riches? She-ra? Jem & the Holograms?
Tick.
Jem. Jem is excitement. Ooh, Jem. Jem is adventure.
Tock.
Great. Talk about the power of suggestion. I might as well ride it out.
Tick.
Glitter and glimmer. Fashion and fame. Hum, hum, hum.
Tock.
Jem, the music's contagious. Outrageous. Jem is my name. No one else is the same. Jem is my name.
Tick.
That's it. I'm getting a baseball bat.
Tock.
Crap. I don't have a baseball bat. That's okay. I'm getting the broom.
Tick.
Double crap. The broom is downstairs.
Tock.
Earthquake. Please let there be an earthquake.
Tick.
No earthquake. Why didn't I move to LA when I had a chance?
Tock.
Oh, hell. I'm getting up.
Tick.
If I could just reach...Oops. Sorry, fish. Sorry, dogs. Mommy didn't mean to drop it.
Tock.
The light! The light!
Tick.
Okay. Now I can see. Tape? Why oh why did I tape the battery to the clock?
Tock.
Stinkin' nails. Every time I cut you, I need you. I think I--
Ti--
got it. That's right, clock. You are mine.
