A Quick Test Post

Hi, everyone. Feel free to ignore this post. I'm just testing a small change in my html to see if it affects how Google is indexing my site. I followed a hack suggested at Blogger Buster that fixed my title tag problem, but Google is still showing the snippet for all posts as my blog description instead of as an excerpt from my post. Obviously, I'd rather it show up as the first part of my post or at least something directly related to the post. I'm trying to see if moving the meta description tag helps at all. Now if Google and Google Blog Search will just index this so I can tell. If anyone knows how to fix yet another indexing problem, please let me know. Thanks.

Patrick & Robin's Nuptials: A Let Down of a Soap Opera Wedding

Okay, so I managed to convince my nephew to allow me a temporary reprieve from our Wii marathon to watch GH last night, and all I can say is that Patrick and Robin's wedding was a total let down. Yes, it was all uber-sweet, but I don't watch soap opera weddings for the syrupy goodness. I watch them for the drama, and this wedding was drama free. No one got shot. The chapel didn't blow up. No one's long lost love crashed their motorcycle through the stain glass window, objected and said that either the bride or groom was still legally married to them, or came back from the dead with a baby in tow. On top of that, half of the attendees at Patrick and Robin's first attempt of a wedding couldn't even be bothered to show for this one. Take Coleman, for instance. I know Patrick asked his brother to be the best man this time, but I'm sure Coleman, the former best man, was still invited. Why wasn't he there? Is his social schedule really that busy? I doubt it, unless he was in Vegas for some kind of annual mullet convention. What about Elizabeth? Could she not find a better time to go on vacation? How about Noah Drake? I know that he and Patrick have been on the outs since the Matt bomb was dropped, but seriously, Rick Springfield couldn't take five minutes out of reliving his 1980's wonder years to stand on the sidelines as Noah and watch Patrick get married? He could have totally sang "Jesse's Girl" at the reception. And what about Jagger Cates? Are you telling me that he could show up for the night shift but not for his oldest friend's wedding? Stone, Jr., autistic or not, would have made a great ring bearer and paid a fitting tribute to Stone, Sr.'s memory.

Anyway, my complaints could go on and on, so I'm just going to leave them at that, and hope that Maxie and Spinelli's wedding, should we actually ever be blessed with that, will be a lot more dramatic.

Note to Self: Don't Miss the GH Wedding Monday

With all the Christmas shopping that I've been doing lately, I've fallen behind on my soaps. Normally, that's okay, as nothing much has happened on them in sometime. However, the other half of Robin and Patrick's wedding on General Hospital airs Monday, and I have a feeling that Chandler's Wii marathon that he wants me to be a part of will still be going strong then. I'm going to have to find some way to remind myself that it's coming on, even if that means going online and sending myself several virtual wedding invitations for the fictional couple. If I stay here for too much longer, I may have to do the same for my primetime shows, as a lot of new and old stuff will be airing. My USA shows--Monk, Psych, Burn Notice, and possibly In Plain Sight--come out of hiatus in January. I wanted to watch The United States of Tara on Showtime. It starts sometime soon. I may even give Patrick Swayze's new show a new try, if for no other reason than to see how's he doing in the midst of his pancreatic cancer battle. I know that if I had a TiVo, I could have programmed it to do all the recording and reminding for me before I left town, but unfortunately I don't have one, and I forgot to put it on my Christmas list. I guess there's always next Christmas.

I'm Giving Tinkle Tonic One More Try for Bella's UTI

I think that I have mentioned before that my cocker spaniel Bella has UTI's on a regular basis. No matter what type of medicine we try--homeopathic or antibiotic--they always come back. I even switched to an expensive, grain-free food for awhile after I read some research that said grains make the urine more alkaline and thus are more likely to lead to infections and struvite stones.

This last UTI just doesn't want to go away. The first time that I ever tried Tinkle Tonic, it worked like a charm, but this last time it didn't. I think or I'm hoping anyway that it's because I didn't give it to her three times a day like I was supposed to. Her new bottle came in yesterday. I'm determined this time to make sure she gets the proper dosage, even if that means I have to wake up at 3 a.m. to give her the third dose. If it doesn't work, we're going to have to go to the vet--the same vet that told me she was just fat when she was having a bad bout of pancreatitis, who said the same thing when she tore her ACL into, who thinks Purina Dog Chow is actually a good dog food, and who lets Bella's urine samples sit out for eight hours before testing it. The vet will probably just give her another round of one-size-fits-all antibiotics without doing a culture that would allow her to match the treatment to the particular type of bacteria in her urine. Even worse, she'll probably give Bella an antibiotic that has worse side effects than the UTI like she did last time, and that will just lead to even more vet visits.

Yeah, the more that I think about it, the more that going back to school to become a vet is looking better and better.

Be My Own Boss? I Wish!

I need a job so badly at the moment that, if I had the money and the business know-how, I'd look into a franchise opportunity or two. It would be nice to be my own boss for a change instead of having to deal with another boss like Judge Jerk. Unfortunately, I actually thought about him last night. My mom, nephew, and I went out to eat with my mom's best friend from work. The coworkers are doing this Team Lean thing that is sponsored by the YMCA, and no one asked them to be on their team. I happened to mention that I hate New Year's resolution diets anyway, especially when the people who make them are the type who talk about nothing but their diets the rest of the year. Five seconds later, Judge Combover popped into my head.

Judge Combover was one of those diet and exercise-obsessed people. Quite personally, I don't think he needed to be on diet. If anything, he needed to eat more, not less. Anyway, he was always talking about going to the gym and what he couldn't eat. If he invited you out to lunch, he was analyze everything you ate. I couldn't ever order a french fry without him telling me how many fat grams were in it and how bad it was for me. It didn't matter that I'm a size 6. He apparently thought I needed to be a size 2. Of course, he never said the first word about fat grams to his 300-pound secretary that ended up getting gastric bypass surgery, but he had to critcize everything that I ate.

He also criticized my exercise habits. One year, I got a brand new treadmill with my income tax rebate. I was so proud of that treadmill and still am. It has a fan, auto incline, and programmable workouts. When compared to my old treadmill, which would shut off if you actually leaned on the handlebars and was missing a leg, it was a dream. After I got it, I thought, "Finally, I have something to talk to him about when he's on one of his gym kicks." Yeah, well he didn't think so. He just criticized me for not going fast enough on it. I'm a short person. Thus, my gait is also short. If I turned the treadmill to the speed he wanted me to turn it to, even if I tried to run, I'd still fall off the back.

I hope to never have a boss who criticizes me every chance he gets ever again. That's why at first blush a franchise opportunity sounds great. The only problem is most franchise opportunities involve selling something, whether it's Mary Kay cosmetics or hamburgers, and I suck at selling. When I was in grammar and middle school, the only way that I could sell enough Girl Scout cookies to go to day camp in the summer was if my grandmother and mother bought them all and froze them. I probably couldn't sell Evian to a man dying of thirst in the desert. I guess that means it's back to the online classifieds for me. Oh joy.

Another Easter Basket for Christmas

My father--or should I say Step Skank via my father--gave me another Easter basket for Christmas. I think that's the second or third year in a row now that those two can't keep the holidays straight. Considering the man couldn't remember my birthday this year, even though it's only three days before his own, and has forgotten Chandler's birthday for two years in a row, I'm not surprised. The first year that he and the midlife-crisis wife gave me an Easter basket for Christmas, they filled it up with cheap perfume and an accompanying message that "every girl likes to smell good." Uh, not this girl. You see this girl is allergic to perfume. It makes her throat swell shut. This girl prefers to actually be able to breathe and swallow over smelling good.

You would think that after 32 years, my father would know this fact about me. Step Thing, a.k.a. Wife Number 2, knew it. The people I used to work with knew it. My mom, sister, grandmother, and nephew all know it, and yet my father doesn't have a clue. How do I know that for sure? Well, this year, Step Skank sprayed both the Easter basket and the cheesy card with two different types of perfume. I had to get up and take a Benadryl just to see what else was in the basket. There was a stuffed bear--like I really need that at 32--a few pieces of candy, and a gift card from JCPenney's. Given my relationship or lack there of with Step Skank, I have a feeling the card has nothing on it or, if it does have money on it, it's only like 50 cents. I'm definitely going to go online and check the amount before going to the store today. I don't want to get embarrassed.

I know it should be the thought that counts, but when you give your daughter something that could potentially kill her two out of three years, you're really not thinking at all, or you are thinking and it's the kind of thought that will land on Santa's naughty list permanently.

How Can Cartoon Character Cards Cost So Much?

Another toy that has changed since I was a kid is the collectible card. When I was Chandler's age, the only cards that I knew kids collected were baseball cards. The stores used to sell some type of bubble gum in the checkout line that had a few strips of gum in the package and two baseball cards. If you were a sports fanatic, you either held onto the cards, or you traded them at school with other kids. If you could care less about sports like me, you just chewed the gum and threw the cards in the trash can.

The cards that kids have nowadays are way too expensive to throw away, and to my knowledge the majority don't come with bubble gum. Instead, they come with all types of rules, powers, and of course their own accompanying show on Cartoon Network or Nickelodeon. Chandler has so many different types of cards that I can't even keep track of them all--Pokemon, Yu Gi Oh, Chaotic, Nurato, you name it. If there is a Japanese cartoon on TV, chances are he has the cards to go along with it. Don't ask me how they all work. Chandler has tried to explain them to me numerous times, but, despite my two degrees, the power ups and the evolutions just go way over my head.

My mom had me look everywhere for the cards he just had to have for Christmas--some $19.99 Chaotic pack that he has been begging for for awhile now. Sure, the pack came with a tin can and some kind of scanner thing that doesn't actually scan, but I still don't quite get why they cost that much. The paper that they're printed on can't possibly be that much better than the ones that baseball cards were printed on in the 80's. Luckily, there were a few Chaotic tin cans left at Target in the back of the store so Chandler was happy Christmas morning. (Well, he was already happy because he got his Wii, but that's a whole other story...)

Maybe they cost more because there is some type of online trading game that he can play with them. Chandler has told me before how he goes to the Chaotic web site and enters some number from each of the cards. I'm not sure if it gets him points or what exactly the numbers do; I tend to tune him out when he's talking cards. I just know that it does something. I also know that he uses them as currency at school when the teacher isn't looking. As much effort as it took me to find that particular pack, he better not start trading them off for something stupid like a cheap eraser or a number two pencil. Worse yet, he better not let his teacher see him with them, or he won't get them back until the end of the school year. Then he'll just be left with an overpriced tin can.

A Very Lego Christmas

I spent a good part of last night helping my nephew build one of the two Bionicles that he got for Christmas. The one that we were working on was a smaller, $12.99 one from Big Lots. The other, however, is a 800-plus piece set that cost around $80 and is taking up most of my mother's dining room table. The set is actually cheap compared to some of the Star Wars Lego sets that I saw while Christmas shopping, sets that were gone yesterday when we went back to Wally World to spend Chandler's gift cards. Thus, somebody somewhere is spending a lot of money on those things.

Now when I was a kid, way back when we had to walk barefoot in the snow to school--okay, I'm not that old--we didn't have fancy Lego sets. You couldn't build a Star Wars battleship, Spongebob's house, or a league of battling Bionicles. Basically, you got a bunch of rectangle, rainbow-colored Legos in a box or, if you were really special, in a big tub like Lincoln Logs. All you could really build out of those Legos was a house--a square one with windows, not one shaped like a pineapple. Now that Legos have balls, joints, and moving parts, you can build almost anything. I wouldn't be surprised if they now have Lego conventions and Lego build-offs or even a real house made out of Legos somewhere in the world. While I don't know that I would ever want to sleep on a bed of Legos or use a toilet made from one, this whole Lego revolution makes me wish that I was the one who had invented those little square blocks in the first place.

The Nintendo Wii: An Unintentional Workout

Santa brought my nephew a Wii for Christmas, and luckily for me (or unluckily, based on how you look at it) he was considerate enough to also bring an extra remote and nunchuck. Consequently, I've spent the last 24 hours, give or take the few hours Chandler allowed me to sleep, playing De Blob, Raving Rabbids TV Party, and Wii Sports. Let me tell you. There's nothing like a video game to make you realize how out of shape you are. Seriously, when I woke up this morning, I could barely move my right arm. The inside of my arm hurt from the wrist to the shoulder blade. My entire right shoulder also hurt, as did my neck, the back of my thighs, my inner thighs, and my butt. I would guess that the rest of me would have hurt, too, had Santa also brought the Wii fit. Thankfully, he spared me the additional torture.

Despite the pain, I have to admit that the Wii is pretty fun. I wouldn't mind if Santa brought me one next year for Christmas, or some family member got me one for my birthday. (Hint, hint if any of them are reading this post.) I'm a lot better at it than I am at the Xbox, DS, or Gameboy. However, with two Wiis in the family, I might have to take out guaranteed issue life insurance or at least health insurance. Several times now, Chandler has gotten so into the movements that he has nearly hit me in the nose. I'm scared that he might take out more than a few nasal bones tomorrow when we try the two Star Wars games he got tonight. Use the force, Chandler. Just don't break any of my bones while you're doing it.

Fish Tank Setup 101: Read the Fine Print & Ignore the Pretty Pictures

A word of advice from someone who has been there and done that this holiday season...In case any of you plan on buying the 14-gallon fish tank starter kit from Walmart, don't let the picture on the box or on the directions fool you. The pipe on the filter does not go all the way down to the gravel like on a lot of filter models. It's just a short U. If you take the kit back to Walmart, stand in the world's longest customer service line three days before Christmas, tell them it's missing, go get a new box, stand in line again, and then take the new box home, you're just going to find out that the new box lacks the extra piece of pipe as well. There's a good reason for that: the filter is the 5-15 model, not the 10-20 one picture in the directions. If you don't read the fine print, which I didn't the first time around, you just assume that the piece is missing. Then, when you realize that you, not Aqua Tech, screwed up, you feel like an absolute idiot. I know I did. You feel even dumber when you realize it shouldn't have taken you half a day to fill up a fish tank.

Maybe they need to change that dumb lawyer joke from how many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb to how many lawyers does it take to set up a fish tank. Obviously, more than me.

Where Did All the Normal TV's Go?

If you haven't shopped for a new TV lately, you probably don't know that the stores don't carry very many normal TVs anymore. By normal, I mean your standard, chunky concoction of plastic and glass that we have all used in our living rooms and bedrooms for decades. All they seem to carry is flat screen LCD's and plasmas. If you can't afford them, too bad. That's all you get to choose from.

My mom had wanted to get my nephew a bigger TV for his room to play his video games on. Right now he just has a 13 inch that's hard to see when you're sitting on the bunk bed across the room. The TV also lacks A/V inputs so he's constantly having to switch back and forth from cable to his X-box using an A/B switch. She was looking for just your standard, cheap, 19 inch TV with the A/V inputs in front so she wouldn't have to worry about Chandler pulling the TV down on himself every time he wanted to switch the X-box out for a DVD player, his Hyperscan, or the Wii. What she found instead were not-so-cheap LCDs. Granted, the LCDs are a lot less expensive than they used to be, and they're still cheaper than plasmas; they're just not as cheap as what Best Buy is now calling "tube televisions."

She didn't want to spend several hundred dollars on a TV so she decided to wait until after Christmas to see if Walmart or anyone else for that matter would get the tubes in stock. I checked online for her, but even places like Best Buy only carry a handful of regular TV's now. I know the world is moving to this big digital transition in February, but the last time I checked, you can still use tube televisions with cable, satellite, or a converter box, so what gives with the limited supply? I'm sure most people would love to have a room in their homes big enough to have a huge LCD mounted on the wall, theater seating, and surround sound, like one of those Extreme Makeover houses, but in this economy most of us would just settle for a comfy couch and a decent, affordable tube version sitting squarely on the TV stand or armoire in front of us. So why have the TV makers stopped catering to us? And where did all the normal TV's go, to some tube TV graveyard in the sky?

Regardless of the answer, I told my mom that Chandler could just borrow one of my sets when I ever move. My Magnavox Smartbox sets all have the A/V inputs in front, not to mention better pictures than the newer TVs in my house. The one in my bedroom--the one that I've had since law school and that's about 10 years old--has the best picture of all. I wonder if all these fancy flat screens have the same longevity.

Another Day, Another Trip to Walmart

I know that I said that I wasn't going to go anywhere today unless the police ordered me to evacuate for a gas leak, but I did go somewhere sans the evacuation order. My mother asked me to check Walmart and Target for a General Grievous. One of the dogs ate Chandler's figurine, and apparently that is his favorite Star Wars character. I was planning on leaving in the morning--whether that's going to happen now, I don't know--so I didn't want to look for the doll--okay, action figurine--then. Consequently, I braved the now frigid weather and the 50 mph winds to go to Walmart and Target. Talk about the crowds. I couldn't even park in the first parking lot at Target. I had to park the next lot over and cross traffic. As for Walmart, I got to park a little closer but still felt like I walked a mile against winds that were threatening to knock me over.

It was all for nothing, however. General Grievous must be a popular character this year because there was not a single one left in either store. All that was left was some calorically-challenged female character from Star Wars, some skinnier female character in a blue suit, a couple of clone warriors, if that's the correct term, and some type of droids. The figure is even sold out online. Somebody is obviously having a Star Wars Christmas. Chandler is one of them; he may just have to have it without General Grievous.

I guess my mom can do what she used to do for my sister and me when something we wanted was out of stock or on backorder: cut out a picture of the item and wrap it up. He can't play with a picture, but at least he'll know that he's eventually getting the General.

On another note, never add Firebug to Firefox if you're computer doesn't have tons of RAM. I added it to mine to check the title tags on each page of my blog, and now Firefox is running slower than next Christmas. As soon as I finish this post, I'm either disabling the plugin or uninstalling it all together.

For the Record: Light Bulbs on Cars Aren't One Size Fits All

I don't know why I'm sitting here right now, typing this post when I should be sleeping. I'd like to say it's because I'm waiting on a load of clothes to get through washing, which I am, but the truth of the matter is blogging becomes addicting after awhile, kind of like surfing the Internet. I can waste hours doing one or the other. I'm hoping, too, that Google will be gracious enough to crawl my site before I go to bed, and thus I can stop worrying about the whole title tag debacle.

I'm so tired that I actually feel dizzy sitting down. I don't even think that the world's best weight loss pills could wake me up at this point. The several cans of Coke that I had today surely didn't. I really don't know why people like to shop in stores. It's exhausting, and if it's done in place like Walmart the Saturday before Christmas, it could very well lead to homicidal tendencies.

Despite yesterday's vow to go nowhere today, I had to go to Walmart twice. It took me an hour to remove the burnt out bulb from my car this morning, if not more. It would have only taken me five minutes if not for the fact that my trunk is broken and I had to hold all 100 pounds of it open with my head. Seriously, I think the hatchback part of a Camaro weighs about that much. Oh, and there was this little problem called the dumb butts at Chevrolet thought that it would be a good idea to hide the second butterfly nut to the tail light assembly behind the spare tire. Yeah, try reaching that with 100 pounds of metal balancing perilously on your head. Every time I leaned down and contorted to my upper body to reach the nut, I had visions of the trunk lid slipping and slicing my head off at the neck. Fun...

Once I freed the taillight assembly, I found that, not only was the right turn signal bulb burnt out, the light bulb to what I now know is the backup light had corroded in two. Luckily, I found the lights for the turn signal at Walmart before all the crazies showed up and bought two packs. Unluckily for me, the backup light was neither the tail nor brake light, which use the same type of bulb as the turn signal according to the book in my glove compartment. I didn't realize that the backup light and the tail/brake light were different until about two hours later when my next door neighbor finally took pity on me (my hands were bleeding, I was covered in the green goop that had somehow worked its way into all the light sockets, and I had been silently cussing for sometime) and told me what I was doing wrong (sticking the wrong bulb in the wrong socket). Hence, my second trip to Walmart today.

Guess how long you have to stand in line at Walmart in the middle of the day on the weekend before Christmas. Let's just say it was so long that I'm lucky I didn't miss this Christmas.

Now about an hour ago I realized that I'm out of garbage bags. Do you think that I'm going to go buy some more tomorrow? Nope. The only way I'm leaving this house tomorrow is if the police show up at the door and tell me I have to evacuate because of a block wide gas leak. Even then, I might take my chances. The way I see it, that's what all the Walmart and Kroger bags in my pantry are for; they're mini-garbage bags. Plus, the way my arms and head feel from holding up the back of the Redneck Mobile for three hours, give or take, I doubt that I will be able to even move my upper body enough to hand a cashier my debit card.

Title Tags, Smitle Tags

If you couldn't tell from the title of this post, I'm not that fond of title tags at the moment. I fixed my little delete oops last night, resubmitted my site map to Google, and resubmitted the actual site to Google, MSN, and Yahoo. So far, none of those sites have crawled this blog and reindexed it. Just Bloggled barely shows up in the search results for all three search engines, and when it does, it's still screwed up.

I've looked back at the backup templates on my hard drive. The one that I downloaded on 11/23 contains the title tag. The one from 12/13 does not. I guess that means that I accidentally deleted the title tag during that time. I left town on the 25th and didn't come back until the 9th. That doesn't leave a lot of time for me to have made that fateful deletion.

I just wish that I knew if it happened before or after Thanksgiving. My drop in RealRank happened while I was away so I'm guessing before, although quite frankly I have no idea why I would have changed something in the html then. I did change my favicon sometime before Thanksgiving from Blogger's orange B to my own custom one. Maybe I accidentally hit something then. It would also explain why one of the paid blogging companies didn't want to pay me for my post on the 10th. It probably wasn't showing up properly in the search results.

What gets me is that it takes Google, Yahoo, and MSN forever to index your site the first time around, but you make one little mistake like deleting your title tag and those three engines will de-index your site or index the previously correct listings incorrectly in a New York minute. Then you have to wait around for forever again to get them to fix it.

Of course, now I'm super paranoid about my html. I think that I've checked it 10 times today already to make sure that the title tag didn't grow legs and walk away. Like I need one more thing to worry about.

(Okay...I feel dumb at the moment. I just checked my Google indexed pages again. They're there (v. not there), just half are incorrect. You can only tell they're different by looking at the url at the bottom, as opposed to looking at what should have been the post title. Teaches me to hit the arrow button. Still my point is the same. Google hasn't crawled it since the correction last night. However, due to some results I'm seeing, Google crawled it an hour before. Talk about lousy timing...)

Blog Design: You Fix One Thing, You Mess Up Something Else

I swear that this hasn't been my week for redesigning this blog. I finally get all of the display problems fixed, and what happens? Apparently, I screwed up something in the template that caused Google to incorrectly index all my posts. They no longer have a title. Instead, they say "Just Bloggled is a member of the following blog directories." That's not good at all. It might also explain the drop in my RealRank since very few items are showing up in the Google Blog Directory and the search results for Google. Good grief. I'm pretty sure it has something to do with the language at the top of the template having to do with the title. For whatever reason, the second line that had data:blog.pagetitle in it was missing from this blog's template. I don't recall deleting it, and I don't know where it went, but it definitely went somewhere. Maybe it went to Great Resting Place for Accidentally Deleted HTML in the Sky. Maybe it went to that place that my socks go when I put them in the drier and they fail to come out. Maybe it found a nice retirement home to move to in Florida. You've got me. I just hope that I fixed the problem and that it doesn't take Google long to re-index it.

So here's a question regarding that: do I now have to resubmit my site for Google to crawl, or do I just wait for it to do it naturally? If someone knows, please let me know. Thanks.

Are Turn Signal Light Bulbs One Size Fits All?

I hate shopping for something that I know absolutely nothing about. Take my car, for instance. I really don't know anything about it part-wise. I want to know. I have even asked my father to show me how to do the basic things like change a tire, but his mumbled response was something along the lines of, "You're not strong enough to lift a tire." Says who? Honestly, I think he's just a little sexist and thinks that I can't do those things because I'm a girl. Whatever. The truth of the matter is because I am a girl, I can read directions, and I can take my time, two things that my father seems incapable of doing. As such, I can probably do those things better than him, should I ever learn how.

I found in the book to my Camaro the number for the turn signal bulb, but I'm just wondering if I really need that number. For a bulb so small, shouldn't it be more of a one size fits all type of thing? It's not like the headlights that have to fit in a certain shaped space (which I replaced on my own, by the way, with no input from the male species). From what I can tell, the turn signal bulb just goes behind the plastic lens. I know that the last time it went out, the tire place had a replacement bulb in stock, and they rarely have '95 Camaro parts in stock. I could take the Redneck Mobile back there, but I really don't want to have the labor costs of replacing a bulb. It's a bulb. How hard can it be to turn it?

I know. I know. Cue the dumb lawyer joke about how many lawyers it takes to screw in a light bulb.

Snow in Vegas, but Hot in Hotlanta. New Auto AC Parts From 1AirConditioning.com Couldn't Hurt.

I heard on the news that it actually snowed in Vegas this week, something like 3.5 inches. I didn't even know that it could snow in the desert. Meanwhile, in Atlanta, it's feeling like summer again with highs in the 70's. I've had to turn the air conditioner back on both inside my house and inside my car.

I don't know what I would do if my air conditioning didn't work. I have bad allergies, and I need air circulating to breathe. Even in winter, I keep the ceiling fans running. Unfortunately, I don't have a ceiling fan in my car. Its air conditioner, like most other things in the Redneck Mobile, is sluggish on a good day. Thus, it takes awhile to cool the interior of my black car. While I was fairly comfortable today, I know that, had the temperatures today been higher than the 70's, I would have spent most of the day sweaty and light-headed with a racing heartbeat until the air conditioning had kicked in.

One of these days, I'm going to have to either get a new car or a new air conditioner. I can save money doing the latter by buying the parts myself from www.1AirConditioning.com. The site carries parts for all of your auto air conditioning needs, including Air conditioning compressors, AC evaporators, and AC condensers. Whether you're looking for a brand new auto air conditioning part or a manufactured one, you can find it a 1AirConditioning.com at factory-direct prices. The company puts its A/C compressors and other auto conditioning parts through vigorous testing procedures before selling them to you so you can rest assured that the parts are of the highest quality, in addition to being affordable. 1AirConditioning.com even offers free shipping.

Supposedly, Atlanta's warming spree is about to come to an end so I can procrastinate on getting my own air conditioner fixed for a little while longer. Now the equally-as-sluggish heater is a different story. I guess I can just always put on more layers.

Bella Has Already Broken Her Christmas Present

So I thought that it would be a good idea to go ahead and give my dogs their Christmas present from me. I feel bad for barely being home the last two days so I thought that early presents would be a good way to make it up to them. Besides, Bella has this uncanny ability to know when I have bought her a present and exactly which bag it's in. If I didn't give her the gifts now, she would just whine at the dining room table until Monday.

I bought the dogs a few things at the Dollar Tree earlier today: two fuzzy, little, squeaky dogs--a blue one for Bailey, an orange one for Bella--a package of tug of war ropes for Bailey; a mushy, rubber frog for Bella; and a pack of bones. Believe it or not, both dogs passed on the bones when I gave them the gifts. Bailey opted to run around with the blue, furry dog in his mouth. He even let me throw it for him for awhile, until the blue fuzz started to stick in his teeth. I think that I ruined the moment for him when I tried to remove the fuzz.

Bella, however, could have cared less about the fuzzy toy. All she wanted was her frog. I have been throwing the stupid thing for about two hours now, and needless to say my arm is starting to hurt. I've had to make a few adjustments to the frog as well. About thirty minutes into our game of fetch, Bella's teeth punctured a whole in the middle part of the frog. I had to take the squishy ball out of the frog's middle and patch it with a piece of duct tape. Fifteen minutes after that, she punctured another hole. Out came the duct tape again.

After another fifteen minute, the skinny pieces of tape began to leak blue goo. As such, I had to replace the two pieces of tape with bigger ones. Those pieces also eventually leaked. Frustrated by the blue goo and scared that Bella would die if she ingested it, I wrapped the entire ball in duct tape. Bella, however, didn't like the tape and tried to peel it off with her teeth. She managed to get some of the tape off and tore the frog in the process.

As I said before, I don't want to go anywhere tomorrow. I hope I can get up at the crack of dawn, find a blinker bulb at Walmart before all the crazies show up, come home, and go back to sleep. I don't want to run all day trying to find Bella a replacement toy. Consequently, I have decided that the best solution to the tape and the goo is to remove both from the equation and replace them with a tennis ball. So far, Bella seems okay with the replacement, despite the fact that as a general rule she hates tennis balls. I hope that she just doesn't wise up to the switcheroo and want the gooey mess back. Her incessant whine sounds a lot like fingernails on a chalk board after awhile, and I really need some sleep.

Attention Last Minute Shoppers: Great Deals at TheWatchery.com

As I mentioned in my previous post, I finally got my sister a Christmas present today. Target had simple, long-sleeved T-shirts on sale for $5 a piece. I wanted to get her something better or at least more interesting than several shirts, but my sister isn't exactly the easiest person to shop for. While she makes a Christmas list every year, she always leaves off several must-have items. Then on Christmas morning, she pouts as she asks us where those items are. Our answer is usually along the lines of, "Uh, they're at the store. We didn't know you wanted them." She, in turn, usually says something sarcastic back that makes us think that she wants us to be able to read her mind. Now I'll admit that I have wished for superpowers from time to time, but reading my sister's mind has never been one of them.

While I was walking through the parking lot towards Target, I thought for a moment, "I wonder if Tina needs a watch." That thought, however, quickly disappeared from my mind once I walked inside the store. There were already so many people in the store that all I could think of from that moment forward was, "Get the shirts and get out. No browsing allowed."

In retrospect, I realize that the watch would have probably been a safer bet than the shirts. I got myself two of the shirts as well, and, due to the Lycra in them, they're a little snug. I don't know if Tina is going to like that snug of a fit. She's fickle when it comes to clothes. Actually, she's fickle about pretty much everything these days. Consequently, I'm scared that she's going to try the shirts on Christmas morning, decide that they're too tight, take them off, and throw them at me. I doubt that she would pitch a nice watch at my head with the same amount of gusto.

For those of you who are doing your own last minute shopping and have someone whose tastes are just as fickle as my sister's on your Christmas list, you should check out the wide selection of women and mens Watches at TheWatchery.com. Right now the site is having an amazing store-wide sale. You can buy luxury watches from designers like Kenneth Cole, Cartier, Bulova, and Citizen at up to 80 percent off the manufacturer's suggested retail price. For instance, the woman's watch pictured above is from Kenneth Cole's Reaction line. Ordinarily, the watch sells for $105. However, you can currently purchase the watch for just $73 at TheWatchery.com., which is a $32 or 30 percent discount off the regular price. You can't beat savings like those.

The savings at TheWatchery.com don't end there. The site also has a clearance section, where watches are priced at up to 90 percent off the manufacturer's suggested retail price. Furthermore, U.S. purchases over $100 ship free when you select ground shipping at checkout, while purchases over $300 get free express and overnight shipping. Meanwhile, certain watches--those featuring the "Get a Free Watch" icon in its description--qualify you for a free watch with purchase. The site even has a deal of the day. Today's deal, for example, allows you to buy the gorgeous Movado watch pictured below, which typically retails for $1395, for just $149.


If you're looking to buy a watch from TheWatchery.com for yourself or someone else for Christmas, just keep a few a deadlines in mind. To guarantee that your purchase will arrive by December 24, you must place your order by 3:30 p.m. EST on Monday, December 22 to utilize the site's two to three day shipping service and by 1 p.m. EST o n Tuesday, December 23 to use overnight shipping.

Just remember that pretty much everyone over the age of five needs to be able to keep track of time. Thus, watches will always be a safe, welcomed gift at Christmas time. Trust me. If I had the energy and the money to do my Christmas shopping all over again, I would have bought a watch for every last one of my family members, even the dogs. Hey, I guess there is always next year.

Just When I Thought It Was Safe to Put Up My Shopping Shoes

I've spent the last two days shopping for Christmas presents. I didn't intend to spend two whole days doing nothing but going from store to store; it just sort of happened. It all started yesterday morning when I threw some clothes on pre-shower--something I rarely do with this curly mop of mine--and went to Walmart to get Star Wars: The Clone Wars Monopoly for Chandler before the last four in the store sold out. Monday morning the store still had about 30 of the games. By Wednesday, they only had four, and those were hidden on the shelf by Sorry, which is kind of ironic if you think about it. I was so proud of myself that I got the one that I called my mother to brag and to fill her in on the number of Star Wars helmets my Walmart had left. Her Walmart had sold out of the helmets a month ago, and it was one of the few, non-Wii-related things that my nephew has said that he wanted.

Anyway, my bragging somehow turned into me volunteering to run to a few other places for her to see if they had this and that in stock. My mom was scared that this and that would be sold out by the time she was able to get to a store, not to mention that she was trying to avoid paying for express shipping online for the same items. After taking a quick shower, I was off again. Now I wasn't supposed to buy anything at that time; I was just supposed to look, but low and behold, Marshall's had toile purses in stock. My mom has been coveting a black and white one for quite some time now and even did a hint-hint when I asked her what she wanted this year.

Thank God for cell phones because I spent the next hour taking pictures of the different toile purses and emailing them to my mom at work, waiting for her to decide which one she wanted, and then debating with her whether I should go ahead and get it or come back. As the one she wanted was the last on in stock, I decided not to wait, and my mother promised to act surprised on Christmas morning.

After Marshalls, I went into Petsmart two doors down to check on the price of dog stockings, a new filter cartridge, and doggy aspirin. Then I walked over to Ross to see if I could see anything to get my grandmother and sister; I couldn't. The only thing that I found was an unpleasant odor in the store that gave me a headache.

From there I went to Famous Footwear. I had a $5 oof coupon so I was hoping that I would be able to find my sister some tennis shoes on clearance and then come back and get them today when my other PayPal payment hit. Unfortunately, there weren't any tennis shoes on clearance in a 7.5. Fortunately for me, there was a pair of clogs with the best arch support that I have ever felt on sale. Normally, I'm not a clog kind of girl. I like girly shoes, not big, fat, clumpy ones. However, my high arches have been bothering me so much lately that I've finally decided to sacrifice style for comfort, and these clogs were 5-star comfort material.

Well, seeing as 5.5 shoes are hard to come by these days, I called my mom yet again and asked her if she'd be willing to get me the shoes for Christmas. I had already listed tennis shoes on my Christmas list, but the ones that I thought I wanted online turned out not to be so comfortable when I tried them on in the store. The clogs were a much better substitute She said she would. Since Famous Footwear was having its BOGO sale, she asked me to look for her a pair of black slides or flats in a 5.5. After 30 minutes of looking, I discovered that there weren't any 5.5's left in the store so I had to try on a bunch of 6's for her. I found three possible pairs, took pictures, and emailed them to her at work. Finally, when she settled on a pair, I had to take both pairs to the counter and ask the lady to hold them while I went home to get my coupon. What I didn't tell her was that I had to wait for my mom to put the money in the bank as well.

About 45 minutes later, after scarfing down a bologna sandwich, finding my coupon, and waiting for the go ahead from my mother, I went back and got the shoes. My next stop thereafter was Target. Don't ask me what I was looking for in there. I can't even remember at this point. All I know is I didn't get anything the first time around. Then I was off to Books-a-Million to see if they had the Harry Potter boxed set for my nephew. They did, but it was $56 versus the $25 it was online at Walmart.

Once again I called my mother and told her what they cost. She asked me to look at Target, the very place that I had just left. Despite the fact that all I wanted to do was go home and take a nice long nap, I agreed to go back to the store that I just left. While they didn't have the boxed set, Target did have the books separately so after a few more phone calls, my mother said to just go ahead and get him the first three. After all, for all we know, he might not even like Harry Potter, and we'll be stuck reading them all. Not that I mind reading Harry Potter. Sometimes I think that I'm the only person left in the world who hasnt'.

While on the phone that time around, my mother mentioned that my grandmother said that she wouldn't mind having a quilted purse. Great...Like I wasn't tired enough at that point. Wanting to avoid a return trip today, I ran into Belk's to look at their quilted purses. All they had were paisley ones and few toile ones that were nowhere near as cute as the one I got my mother from Marshall's for less.

Thus, I returned to Marshall's, hoping to find that I had overlooked another toile purse the size of my mother's. I hadn't. All Marshall's had left were toile purses the size of duffel bags and ones the size of wallets, neither of which I could see my grandmother carrying. I finally settled on this leopard print Liz Claiborne purse. It's not exactly my taste, and it's not quilted, but I'm hoping that my grandmother's love for all things leopard print will make her forget she said anything about the quilted bag. If not, I'll be going back to Marshall's after Christmas, the purse and my receipt in hand.

You'd think that I'd be able to go home then, but I couldn't. I had to go back to Petsmart to get the filter and then drive all the way to Walmart to get Chandler's helmet for my mom before they, too, were gone. I also had to see if Wally World still had his Chaotic cards, which, of course, they didn't. I finally got home around 5 p.m. My first trip to Walmart was around 9 a.m. so I basically shopped for 8 hours yesterday, give or take 30 minutes for lunch. My body was a testament to that fact. My feet hurt. My calf, thigh, and butt muscles hurt. My arms and head hurt. I was even dizzy. You would think that I had run the Boston Marathon the way that my body felt, but I hadn't. All I had done was shopped.

I went to bed vowing to never shop like that again. Then I woke up this morning. All I was going to do was run into Target to get my sister some shirts for Christmas and then get my hair trimmed at the Fantastic Sam's next door. I left home at 12 p.m. I didn't return home until nearly 4:30 p.m. While I didn't go nearly as many places as yesterday, I still went more places than I intended.

As I was turning towards my house this afternoon, I remember thinking to myself, "Finally. Nowhere else left to go." Then my right turn signal went out. So guess where I'm going tomorrow? Yep, shopping again, this time for a light bulb for my car. If things keep going at this rate, either my legs will be in the best shape ever, or I won't be able to move come Christmas. Heck, I may even have to add a walker to my Christmas list.

A Dog's Letter to Santa: Part Two

Dear Santa,

My name is Bailey. Like my sister Bella, I'm six years old. No, we're not twins. We're just adopted. My mom wants to be the Brangelina of the dog world and adopt a bunch more of us, but she doesn't have the money or the room right now. Thank goodness. One sister is all I can take!

I've been a good boy, too, this year. Yes, I like to mark the furniture and the kitchen trash can a lot, and sometimes that makes my Mommy really mad, but I can't help it. I'm a boy. I'm supposed to do that. Hasn't Mommy seen It's a Wonderpup Life? The little boy dog tells his Daddy, "Teacher says, 'Every time a dog barks, I'm supposed to leave a mark.' " I'm just doing what the movie says. Duh.

I've also eaten my Mommy's blinds a few times--okay, more than a few times--but I'm just trying to protect Mommy from all those crazy people at the door. You can't blame me for that, can you? I was at the pound once. I don't' want to go back.

I don't want any nonsense like unlocked cell phones, Wiis, or clothes for Christmas. Yuck! My sister Bella may like clothes, but I can't stand them. I always climb out of them and stretch the neck out, which makes Mommy mad, and I don't like it when Mommy's mad. As for the other gifts, my mouth isn't big enough to hold the remote to the Wii. Even if it was, my cousin Chandler would just take it. He'd probably take the cell phone, too, assuming my Aunt Tina didn't take it first. She's on her cell phone more than I'm on my dog bed so that's a lot.

What I do want is some squeaky toys, the stuffed animal kind, not the rubber ones. Just remember, I'm a little dog so they have to be little, too. I'd also like a really big rawhide bone. I promise that I'll share it with my sister. Even when Mommy gets us both one, we still fight over...I mean share just one of them. It makes Mommy so mad! If you bring Bella one, too, I won't mind. That'll just be more bone for me.

I want some Greenies, too. Just make sure it's a big package. No matter what Bella might have told you, she always steals mine. I can't even turn my back or lick myself for a minute without Blondie taking my Greenie. I ought to steal her stupid lizard and teach her a lesson, but I won't. I don't want to end up on your naughty list at the last minute.

One last thing. I'd like a heated dog bed like the one Rocky has on Little People, Big World. Don't believe Grandma when she tells you that I'd just pee on it and electrocute myself. I'm not that stupid. Plus, unlike certain other dogs I know (i.e. a certain blonde Dachshund at Grandma's house), I don't pee where I sleep.

Woof you,

A Dog's Letter to Santa: Part One

Dear Santa,

My name is Bella. I am six years old. In dog years, I'm a lot older than six, probably too old to be writing this letter, but my Mommy calls me her baby so I guess it's okay. I've been a good girl this year. Sure, I've peed on the carpet a few times, and I like to scream when Mommy isn't right next to me, but she doesn't seem to get too mad at me for it. I've stopped taking the toilet paper off the roll when Mommy leaves it on the bathroom floor, and I hardly ever steal my brother's biscuits anymore.

I want a new ball for Christmas and some more of those squishy lizards like I keep finding in my cousin Chandler's room. Mommy will probably tell you that I have enough toys, but I don't. There's always room for more balls and lizards. Besides, what does she want me to do, ask you for a copy of Marley & Me? Please. I'm a dog. I can't read a book.

I'd also like some clothes for Christmas. Mommy doesn't get me clothes anymore because she says I'm too fat and because they'll make my hot spots worse. Well, Santa, I am not fat. I'm just fluffy, or at least I was until Mommy shaved all my hair off. I'd especially like anything pink. Then Mommy could put the pink bows in my hair again. I really like my bows.

One more thing. If it's not too much, I'd like a big box of Greenies. They're my favorite! I promise that I'll share them with my brother, and I won't steal his when he isn't looking. Mommy talks about buying them all the time. She just calls them the G-word when she does, like I don't know what that means. Grandma says I'm a dumb blonde, but I'm not. I know that the G-word is Greenies, just like I know that, despite all the talking, my Mommy hasn't bought me any in awhile. So can you please, please, please, bring me some Greenies?

Barks and kisses,

P.S. I forgot to say that Mommy wants you to bring me and Bailey some Advantage, too. I guess that's okay so long as I get my ball. Can you also bring my Aunt Little Butt and my cousins Hunter, Romeo, and Juliet some Advantage as well? I don't really like them. They always gang up on me at Grandma's, even if I'm not doing anything but sitting on the sofa, but it is Christmas, and Mommy says we have to be nice at Christmas, so I thought I'd ask. Thanks.

I Have the Fast Food Blahs

Why do I always eat fast food, knowing how it makes me feel afterwards? My fridge and pantry are looking a little scarce at the moment, but it's pretty stupid for me to go stock up on groceries if I'm just going to be going out of town in a week. I'm also waiting on a PayPal transfer to come through so I really don't have enough in my account right now to stock up anyway. That's why I thought that it would be a good idea to buy lunch today.

Big mistake. Huge. The food was good. Don't get me wrong. I spent an extra 40 cents at Zaxby's to get the Nibblerz meal instead of my normal Chicken Finger Sandwich Meal and found that Zaxby's actually toasts the bun on the Nibblerz sandwiches. Since the only other thing in my stomach was a lone strawberry Pop Tart, I pretty much inhaled the tiny sandwiches. Now I'm paying the consequences. My stomach is cramping big time from all the butter in the bread, and I feel just blah. I'm scared my right kidney is going to start up next like it does anytime I eat something that is too salty.

Just blah is how I felt the entire time that I was home for Thanksgiving as well. My family ate a lot of fast food then, too, and I never felt good afterwards. Ditto for the Thanksgiving meal and leftovers. More blah after effects. Plus, my dumb butt of a sister inadvertently made the dressing with fish oil instead of vegetable oil, which would have been fine if it wasn't for the fact that I'm allergic to fish. I spent most of Thanksgiving and Black Friday pondering why I broke out in hives and itched all over after eating turkey and dressing. I was scared to death that I had developed a new food allergy to turkey or bread. Thankfully, my mother figured out the fish oil connection Friday night, and I was able to avoid the itchiness and hives the rest of the week.

I wonder if Fentraphen or some other fat burner would make me feel less blah right now. Probably not. I think that you have to actually take those things when or before you eat for them to make a difference. Plus, I think that they only help with the fat issue, not the blah issue.

I want to avoid the blahs next week. Last Christmas, I was miserable because I had the stomach flu and a 102 fever. Healthwise, I don't want to be miserable this Christmas as well. I guess that means that I'm going to have to pass on the fast food trips and ask for a peanut butter and jelly sandwich or an apple instead. Can you just have an apple and some carrot sticks for Christmas dinner? Right now, that's the only thing that sounds good.

Cross Browser Display Problems: I Think Everything is Fixed Now

For those of you with Internet Explorer 6 or lower, I could not get any of the PNG fixes that I found online to work last night. Thus, I resaved all of my PNG files as GIF files so you shouldn't be seeing the grey boxes anymore. I even checked on IE6 myself and didn't see them. As for Safari and Google Chrome users, you should be able to see all of the words on the navigation bar and not just the top half of the letters. The only way that I could think of to fix the problem was to make the brown part of the bar thicker. So the thicker bar wouldn't look like a big oops on my part, I added two narrow, yellow, horizontal lines across the bottom of the bar. Opera, IE, and Firefox users will see those two lines. Safari and Google Chrome users won't be able to see the two lines because, like the bottom half of the words before, they're now behind the main content wrapper instead of in front or on top of it. However, what you will see is how the navigation bar looked yesterday, i.e. all parts of the words visible. Hopefully, these will be the last tweaks I have to make for awhile.

My Dysfunctional Design Display: I Fixed It...Sort Of

For those of you who use Internet Explorer 7 or greater, you've probably noticed that the navigation bar that has "Home," "About Me," "Contact," and "Disclosure Policy" on it is now flush with the main content part of the blog. I had another epiphany today--apparently it has been my day for them--that involved me trying to fix the problem while logged into Blogger in IE. I then opened up my home page on Firefox and slowly changed the numbers representing the navigation bar's top and bottom padding, refreshing the display after each change, until I got the bar to look right in both browsers.

The good news is the adjustments are properly reflected in Opera as well. The bad news is that they aren't displayed correctly in Safari and Google Chrome. The bar now goes behind the main content, not in front or on top of it as I intended. From what I've been able to tell on the Internet, the problem has something to do with WebKit, which both of those browsers use but Firefox, Internet Explorer, and Opera do not. I have yet to find a way around the WebKit problem so I'm going to follow the advice stated in Google's FAQ section and report the bug to WebKit. Until they tell me how to fix it or someone else does, I can only apologize to those of you who use those two browsers.

My apologies also go out to those with Internet Explorer 6 or less. I used PNG images so my header and certain images on the sidebar would be transparent over the background. Now all you're probably seeing is a big, ugly grey box in place of those images. I think that I found a fix for that problem on BloggerBuster.com. I'm going to be trying it either later tonight or tomorrow. Please let me know if it helps.

Other Creative Ideas (or Not) for Selling This House

Let's see. The price reduction hasn't worked. Switching realtors hasn't worked. What will? Sorry, but I'm a little obsessed with the topic at the moment. So far, I thought about hot air balloons, billboards, standing out in front of Walmart, getting T-shirts made, and listing the house on eBay and Craigslist. Of course, I never implemented any of the ideas. I either can't afford them or don't know how. So what are a few more creative, albeit useless, ideas that will help sell this house?

Well, I could use digital signage. I could pay to have the signs installed in gas station and airport bathrooms, on overpasses on the interstate, and in the food court at the mall. Of course, digital signs would probably cost more than my house is worth, especially if I wanted to put them in that many places. I could always hack into existing digital signs. Wait. I forgot that I don't know how to hack into anything.

How about commercials that show during airings of Sell This House or Sell That House? No. Like the digital signs and my hot air balloon idea, it's way too costly.

How about YouTube? It's free. It has a wide audience. I could even crank out the crocodile tears. Oh, that's right. I don't have a video camera. I guess I'll have to scratch that idea as well.

Spam the heck out of everyone's email accounts? Nope, I could go to jail for that. This house is so not worth jail time.

Blog about my house? Been there. Done that.

A town raffle? I heard of someone doing that on the news. The extra proceeds went to charity. However, with my luck, I'd only sell one $5 ticket. After all, I couldn't even sell Girl Scout cookies back in the day. I can state for a fact that neither Chase nor HUD would approve a $5 short sale.

Getting on my knees and begging? That only works if I had a potential buyer sitting in front of me to begin with.

Write a sob letter to Oprah or Ty Pennington? Yeah, I'm probably not pathetic enough for their shows.

A personal ad? I saw on the news that someone was offering up herself with the house. It was something like, "Buy the house. Get the wife free." I don't know if she ever sold it. Again with my luck I'd just sell it to a serial killer, and then I'd be contractually obliged to marry Mr. Slice and Dice.

Going on Are You Smarter than a Fifth Grader? Technically, I couldn't sell my house on the game show, but I could potentially win enough money that I could lower the price of my house some more. For some reason, though, I think that I would have to drop out of school and admit that, despite my two degrees, I am not smarter than a fifth grader. Just ask ChaCha. I failed their stupid guide test after all.

Okay. I give up. I have no idea how I'm going to sell this house, and I now have the theme song to Are You Smarter than a Fifth Grader stuck in my head.

I Have My Father's Face and Now His Hairline

Like it wasn't bad enough that I look like my father facially. Now apparently I've inherited his hairline as well. Prior to his current midlife crisis, my dad was pretty much bald. I used to say it was because his scalp never got to see daylight, let alone oxygen, because he'd never take his cap off. Never. Ever. Not even to sleep. Once we took a trip to the Redneck Riviera, a.k.a. Panama City Beach, and this huge wave knocked off both his hat and his bathing suit. Guess which item he went for first? Yeah, it's the one that rhymes with cat. Turns out, that's not the cause of his baldness, or at least it's not the only cause. He has an overactive thyroid.

He's not as bald these days. Thanks to his newest marriage to Step Skank, his bald spot has been somewhat replaced by a bunch of hair plugs. (Former Step Thing's niece, Old Cross-Eyed What's Her Name, claimed he got his toupee sewed onto his head, but I don't really think that's possible, LOL.) While he has hair coming in, mine seems to be falling out. I had the same problem this time last year. I thought at the time it was due to my hormones being out of whack from going off the pill, but seeing as I haven't taken Yasmin in over a year, I can't blame the hormones. Maybe it's stress this time. I'm definitely stressed over the job situation, being broke, not being able to sell my house, etc; or maybe it's my bad genes. Either way, I just thought of one more thing to add to my Christmas list--the Sally Beauty Supply version of Nioxin. It helped my hair grow last time. Hopefully, it still will because I don't like seeing this wide of a part or looking this much like the Toothless Wonder.

Which reminds me, why hasn't anyone ever started a Hair Club for Women? Maybe I should.

It's Time to Make My Christmas List

I had an epiphany this morning; I could get my sister a new pair of Old Navy flip flops for her birthday today. As I said in a previous post, she lives in those things, even in winter, and they're super cheap. I was planning on driving down to the Old Navy outlet the next town down, but I checked Old Navy's site first. As luck would have it, not only did they have the flip flops in stock, but they were having a free shipping special. Yippee! I was able to get my sister a birthday present for just $3.75, and it's a present that she'll actually use. Unfortunately, she won't get it today, but better late than never.

Now that the birthday present has been taken care of, I have to sit down and make my mom a Christmas list. Yep, that's right. I still haven't made my Christmas list yet. I know what you're thinking. It's getting down to the wire, but my mom hasn't gotten her Christmas bonus yet so I haven't seen the need until now. The problem with me and lists is that my mind goes blank the minute that I pick up the pen and piece of paper or, in this case, click the compose button on Yahoo email. All I can think of to put on the list right now is a replacement fish tank. If that's all I put, my mom will be nagging me for the next week wanting to know what else I want. I guess that means that I'll just have to take a few days to think of what I want besides a new fish tank before I email the list to my mom.

Here's a thought: what about a video game console? I know that I'm probably too old to be asking for one, but I never had anything but an Atari as a kid, and even then I only had three games. It wouldn't even have to be a playstation 3, an Xbox 360, or a Wii. I'd settle for a Playstation 2. You can get cheap Playstation 2 games at the Dollar General, Big Lots, and Fred's, some as low as $5. That's not a bad deal. I just wonder if I would actually ever play it except for when Chandler visits. I have a hard drive full of games, but, with the exception of Polar Bowler, Polar Golfer, and Shoot the Roach, they pretty much remain untouched 90 percent of the year. Would I treat a Playstation the same way?

Uh...yes...no...maybe...I don't know. Okay, I'm scratching a Playstation off the list for now, but I'm replacing it with Mario Golf for my Gameboy. It's much cheaper, and I'm sure that I would play it.

Equal Columns are No More for Now

As much as I liked them, the equal columns that I had on this blog yesterday are no more for the time being. I just found out that when I tried to expand my archives past the month of November, you can't see them. They're cut off at the bottom of the page. I think the reason is that the method I used for the equal columns from BloggerBuster.com uses the middle column with the posts as the gauge for how long to make the sidebar columns. I guess whoever wrote the code just assumed that your post column would always be longer than the sidebars. Unfortunately, that's not the case when you have the kind of archive like I do. The minute you maximize the archive, the sidebar becomes longer.

Since my knowledge of CSS code is very limited at this point, I don't know how to change the code on my own. Thus, I have just removed it and allowed the columns to look the way that they do now. As soon as I can find another hack, if that's the right term, online that allows me to have both equal columns and a readable archive, I'll return the design back to its former glory. If anyone already knows how I can do that, please leave a comment and let me know. I really liked the way that the equal columns looked, and you'll save me the headache of searching.

Hey, there is an upside. At least my layout editor is back to working properly.

What to Get the Girl Who Wants Everything But What You Can Afford?

My sister's 28th birthday is tomorrow, and I still haven't gotten her anything yet. It's not because I don't want to; I just haven't had the money. I've had to use what little bit I had to buy flea products. (Hey, there's an idea. I can send her the leftover Zodiac treatments. From one flea to another...) I tried to find a cheap movie for her Friday since movies, thanks to media mail, are fairly cheap to send. However, I couldn't find a movie in Best Buy that was both in my price range and screamed, "Tina." When it comes to movies, my sister has fickle tastes. She'll watch something a hundred times and then never watch it again.

I also thought about buying her the board game Clue. It's only $10 at Wally World. When I was home at Thanksgiving, she brought out her 15-year-old version of the game and asked me and Chandler to play it with her, but we both declined the invitation. The set is missing half of the pieces, and neither one of us wanted to play with the pieces she supposedly made. I thought if I got her a new set, she might actually stay home long enough to play a few rounds with Chandler. (Okay, I won't hold my breath on that one, but it could happen...theoretically.) However, the game would cost more to ship than it would to just by it, so if I choose that path, my mom is just going to have to tell her that I'll bring the present when I come home.

One last idea was to find something for $10 or $11 at JCPenney's. I got a coupon in the mail for $10 off any $10 or more purchase, so basically if I could find something in that price range, the gift would pretty much be free. The only problem is my sister is hard to shop for when it comes to clothing and shoes. She has expensive, Oscar de la Renta type of tastes. That's why her Christmas lists, while short, always end up costing more than my long ones. For instance, she wants this $150 flat iron this year. What's wrong the much cheaper one my mom got her last year? Nothing, if you ask me. She just always wants bigger and better.

Tian also tends to dress at times like she's still 15 and doesn't have a child, at least when she goes out. She's two years away from the big 30. She has a child that will be nine soon. I think those are both signs that she needs to stay out of the junior's department. But who ever said that my sister was good at reading signs? Not me.

What I really want to give my sister for her birthday is a new MySpace page. If her clothes are too high school, her MySpace page is too junior high. It's all pink, white, and glittery. She used one of those free templates off the Internet; thus, the page is full of advertisements and loads super slow. I want to hack into her account and just redesign the whole thing. To do that, however, I would have to admit that I know she has a MySpace page and that my mom and I have been using it to spy on her. (We've just been looking at the page; we're not logging into her account or anything bad like that, so calm down.). Even if Tina didn't kill me for looking at it, she'd most likely change the url or her account name, and then how would my mom know what she was doing at night? It wouldn't be from Tina telling her, that's for sure.

Anyway, I wish she had been born earlier in the year. That way I wouldn't have to come up with two presents all in the same 10 day period.

Speaking of Giving Up...

I'm also about to give up on two other things:

1. Getting rid of the dogs' fleas. I was going to buy Biospot the other day from Petsmart because I had a $5 off coupon, but even with the coupon it was going to cost me $13.99 plus tax. I looked at all the boxes in the store and found that Zodiac Spot-on had the exact same ingredients at the exact same percentage for only $9.99. After much internal discussion--I'm not quite to the point of talking to myself externally, at least not much anyway, while shopping--I went with the Zodiac.

The product seemed promising at first. It didn't cause Bailey to freak out like the Sentry XFC did, and I definitely saw less fleas on both dogs the next morning, but by yesterday afternoon the fleas were back again. Great...

I have sprayed and vacuumed this house about three times now, have bathed the dogs several times, and am currently washing everything in site. My mom asked me when I'm coming home for Christmas. I answered, "When are you going to spray the house and buy some Frontline or Advantage?" Her response: "As soon as I can." Well, Mom, there's your answer as well. Meanwhile, guess what I'm asking Santa to bring me for Christmas?

2. Selling this house. I got my real estate agent to reduce the sale price another $5000 Friday, and here I am on a Sunday night, and not a darn person has shown up. On top of that, Chase told me that HUD is unlikely to approve a short sale, should someone even make an offer, because of the mortgage insurance that I've been paying as part of my FHA loan. The guy said that HUD or the federal government or whoever would make more if my house went into foreclosure because it's insured at 80 percent of what I owe, or 80 percent of what I paid for it, I'm not sure which. Meanwhile, if they accept a short sale, they'll be making less than 80 percent. I don't know if that's true or not. I'm told something different every time I call, but it's depressing as hell. I can't sell it for what I owe or for 80 percent of what I owe because it's no longer worth that much, but I can't sell it for less unless I want to magically come up with the difference. So what am I supposed to do then, live here for another five or ten years and hope the market goes back up?

All I can say on both accounts is a loud, "Ugh!" Okay, I can say a lot worse than that, but they're all "bad words," as my nephew would say.

I Give Up on Internet Explorer 7

Okay, so after two days of trying to fix the display discrepancies between Internet Explorer and the other browsers that are out there, I officially give up. As you might have noticed, I have changed the look of my blog yet again. I know, big surprise, right? This time I added code that I got from BloggerBuster.com to make the three columns the same height and length. I also got rid of the tabs that were at the top of my page and opted for a navigation bar with links to those pages instead. I used code for that change from Tips-for-New-Bloggers.blogspot.com.

Everything looks just as it should in Firefox, Opera, Safari, and Google Chrome. The brown navigation bar sits flush against the top of the posts and sidebars. The three columns are even along the bottom. Wouldn't you know that the fact that everything looks perfect in four browsers means that it doesn't look perfect in what I guess is still the most commonly used browser, Internet Explorer? Sure enough, there is a big space (big to me anyway) between the brown bar and the sidebars and posts. In addition, the image links aren't flush with the brown bar; they're protruding downwards. Finally, the columns are not equal heights.

I tried for hours last night and hours today to get it to look right in IE. I've played with paddings and margins. I've looked to see how others have added the same things. I've messed around on test blogs. Nothing has worked. Thus, until the blog owners at Tips for New Bloggers and Blogger Busters approve my comments requesting assistance and respond to them, I and you, my readers, will just have to live with the way it looks in IE. As I've never liked IE to begin with--it freezes up several times a day for me and is uber-slow--I'd suggest that you use a different browser if you're at all interested in seeing how this blog is really supposed to look. Actually, I recommend switching browsers for web surfing in general. The only time I use IE these days is if I'm printing a coupon off of Coupon.com. For some reason, I can't get the coupon printer to work in Firefox.

Meanwhile, if any of you know how to fix the two display problems in IE, not to mention fix my layout editor in Blogger (I can no longer see the bottom elements in my sidebars since adding the equal column stuff without using some tab function I read about online), please me a comment telling me how. I'd greatly appreciate it.

This Blog Will Look Funny for a Few Hours

Hi, everyone. I'm going to be playing around with the blog design for awhile. I've already grown bored with the holiday decor. Consequently, things may look funky for awhile. Sorry for the inconvenience.

My First Grownup Christmas Tree

I feel like such an adult. I finally got a real Christmas tree last night when I got back to town. Ever since law school, I have been using a fake tree, mostly because I never thought I could fit a real tree in the Redneck Mobile. This year I didn't feel like dragging the fake tree out of the garage so I had intended to get one of those tree top Christmas trees from Lowe's. However, as luck would have it, the Lowe's in this town, unlike the Lowe's in Thomasville, isn't selling them this year. I ran into Walmart last night and found that their real trees were marked down $5 so I decided to splurge and buy myself one of those 5 foot Douglas firs for $25. That's only $10 more than I would have spent on the tabletop version. Walmart wrapped it up and put it in the car for me after I played a few rounds of "Musical Car Seats" with my dogs. Yeah, they were scared to death of the tree, but my night vision sucks so taking them home and coming back was out of the question.

Now I get to go decorate it and clean up Bailey's golden dribblings. That dog has never met a tree that he didn't mark. I feel like such a goober being excited about it--I've decorated many a tree before, fake and real alike. I almost feel like I did when I replaced my law school futon with a grownup couch. I'm even sniffing the thing like an idiot, but in my opinion real Christmas tree smell is better than new car smell. If the tree makes it all the way to New Year's without the dogs knocking it over and ruining the carpet, I may buying short, real trees from now on.

For Once, I Was Happy to Go to Walmart

My feet have been giving me problems lately. Whenever I wear shoes that lack significant arch support, I find that I can barely walk by the end of the day. I don't know if it's Plantar Fasciitis, which is a painful condition in the heel and arch area, or if I just tore the tendon or muscle in the arch. All I know is that it hurts. During the last few days at my mom's house, the pain would make its way from my right arch to my right hip. It's like the the pain in my foot is throwing my whole body off. It doesn't help that my mom pulled up the urine-stained carpet all over her house without having another type of floor to replace it. Cement and ceramic tile floors just aren't friendly to damaged arches.

This past summer I found a pair of sandals at Walmart--somewhere that 10 years ago I wouldn't be caught dead in buying a pair of shoes--that had amazing arch support, Earth Spirit. I wore those things until I wore the arch support out. Last week, I managed to get my mom's computer to work long enough to see if Earth Spirit made winter shoes--boots, moccasins, basically anything other than sandals. They did, but I couldn't find anything smaller than a 6 online. I asked my mom if I found a smaller size at Walmart and bought them, would she pay me back and call it an early Christmas present. She said she would so while I was at Walmart this morning, exchanging the stupid Christmas lights with the white cord for the green cord version, I cut through the shoe section. To my surprise, Walmart actually had a 5.5 in stock in Earth Spirit boots. Believe me when I say they never have a 5.5 in stock in the Earth Spirit brand or otherwise. I took their availability as a sign, tried them on, and found that they had the same arch support as my sandals. Needless to say, I threw them in the buggy the minute I took them off.

Now I just want it to stop raining so I can wear them somewhere (I don't want to the water to ruin the suede) and see what kind of a difference they make in my foot pain.

The Fleas Followed Me Home

My clean house--the one that I was calling my favorite vacation spot just yesterday--now smells like a medicine cabinet, thanks to half a bottle of Flea-Breeze and Hartz Flea and Tick Home Spray. Despite my best precautions--I sprayed the dogs with Farnam flea spray before putting them in the car yesterday and bathed then with flea shampoo when I got home--those darn fleas hitched a ride in Redneck Mobile and now occupy my townhouse. I know that they do because I woke up to Bailey being surrounded by a circle of flea blood on the bed. Thankfully, I had put the white sheets that already had paint and clay stains on them on the bed before we left for Thanksgiving so the fleas didn't ruin my good linens. They are, however, ruining what was a halfway decent mood. The smell of the flea spray is getting to me, and I know that I'm going to probably have to respray the house tomorrow.

It's the holidays. Why can't the local vets be like Kmart and Sears and bring back layaway or at least let you pay for Advantage or Frontline in installments? Better yet, how about a BOGO sale on flea products? I'd so scrape up the sofa change for that kind of sale.

Shop SierraAdventureGear.com for Your Next Outdoor Adventure

I wish that my family was more into the outdoors. Chandler and I were watching Little People, Big World Monday night while we played SpongeBob Life in his room. On the show, Amy was going white water rafting with her sister in New Mexico. I told Chandler, "I want to do that." I went white water rafting once on a church trip in high school. I loved it, but I haven't gone rafting since, mostly because my family's idea of the Great Outdoors is working on their tans at the beach. The chances that I'll ever go white water rafting in the future with them are slim to none.

Chandler said that he wanted to go white water rafting, too. At eight, he may be a little too young to go rafting, but when he gets older maybe the two of us can go do the whole outdoor thing together--white water rafting, camping, hiking, the whole nine yards. If we do, Sierra Adventure Gear will be our first stop for supplies. Sierra Adventure Gear carries everything that you need to both enjoy and survive the Great Outdoors, from Texsport brand day packs and tents to Brunton campfire cookware and Maglite flashlights. They even sell GPS handheld navigators for people who are directionally-impaired like me. I've seen enough horror movies to know that I never want to get lost in the woods. Even if a chainsaw-toting, hockey-mask-wearing serial killer doesn't come after me, I'd still be stuck with a whining nephew who wants to know, "Are we there yet?" Yeah, we'll definitely be investing in one of those should we ever go camping.

Right now, SierraAdventureGear.com is offering free shipping on all orders over $75. If you're unsure of just what you need for your own camping adventure, give the company's customer service reps a call. Sierra Adventure Gear was founded by two outdoor enthusiasts and is staffed by people who have years of outdoor travel experience. They will be able to help you pick out the essentials for your trip and maybe even a few "luxury" items, like a Timex watch that has a digital compass. Unfortunately, they won't be able to help you convince your sister to put down her cigarettes and cell phone long enough to enjoy the Great Outdoors. Right now that's probably the biggest obstacle to my family having an outdoor adventure, well that and what do with six high-strung lap dogs while we're gone.