Finally, One Lookiloo?

My real estate agent called me the Saturday after Thanksgiving. Of course, I was blow drying my hair at the time and didn't hear the phone ring so she had to leave a message. She said that she had a real estate agent that wanted to show my house that day and asked if I had left the alarm on. Even though I called her back less than two minutes after she had left the message, she didn't answer her cell phone so I had to leave a message as well. I told her that I had, in fact, left the alarm on, gave her the code once again, and asked that she go by the house after the agent was done to make sure that everything was locked up. Back on Mother's Day weekend, I had an agent show my house and leave all the doors unlocked, the interior door to the garage wide open, and all of the interior lights on. Seeing as I spent another week away from my house after the showing, I was lucky not to return to Atlanta to find that everything that I own had been stolen. I don't want to go home next week and find out that yet another inconsiderate realtor has left my home and ultimately my personal safety unprotected.

As usual, my real estate agent didn't call me back. Thus, I have no idea if the other realtor showed the house or locked up on the way out. Seeing as I'm 240 miles away, I can only hope that she did both. If I can't get anyone in to see the house, it's never going to sell, the $40,000 discount on the original listing price be darned. I just don't know what it's going to take at this point to get that foot traffic. I keep the house clean 98 percent of the time. Up until last month's cold spell killed them, I had flowers in the front yard and on the porch. I plan on putting up my Christmas decorations next week to draw the attention away from the now brown landscape. Even the Kirby salespeople said that the interior of my house was cute. They even went so far as to ask me if I majored in art, since the colors in my house went so well together. So what do I need to do that I'm not already doing to get it to sell?

If I had money to waste, I would upgrade the cheap vinyl floor for laminate and replace the equally as cheap plumbing fixtures with Delta faucets. However, I don't have that type of money so I can't. Even if I did, those type of changes would just outprice the house for the neighborhood. I would never see a return on the investment. At this point, I'm starting to think that I'm going to have to stand in front of Walmart and give the house away in order for someone to take it. I'll just hang a sign around my neck that says, "Buy a pack of Cokes or a box of Girl Scout cookies from me, and get a townhouse a mile away for free." Even then, I'm not so sure anyone would take it.

Is there any chance Obama can just waive a magic wand come January and make this recession go away? If there is, I'll volunteer to lead the movement to change the Constitution and make him President for life.