A Dog's Letter to Santa: Part Two

Dear Santa,

My name is Bailey. Like my sister Bella, I'm six years old. No, we're not twins. We're just adopted. My mom wants to be the Brangelina of the dog world and adopt a bunch more of us, but she doesn't have the money or the room right now. Thank goodness. One sister is all I can take!

I've been a good boy, too, this year. Yes, I like to mark the furniture and the kitchen trash can a lot, and sometimes that makes my Mommy really mad, but I can't help it. I'm a boy. I'm supposed to do that. Hasn't Mommy seen It's a Wonderpup Life? The little boy dog tells his Daddy, "Teacher says, 'Every time a dog barks, I'm supposed to leave a mark.' " I'm just doing what the movie says. Duh.

I've also eaten my Mommy's blinds a few times--okay, more than a few times--but I'm just trying to protect Mommy from all those crazy people at the door. You can't blame me for that, can you? I was at the pound once. I don't' want to go back.

I don't want any nonsense like unlocked cell phones, Wiis, or clothes for Christmas. Yuck! My sister Bella may like clothes, but I can't stand them. I always climb out of them and stretch the neck out, which makes Mommy mad, and I don't like it when Mommy's mad. As for the other gifts, my mouth isn't big enough to hold the remote to the Wii. Even if it was, my cousin Chandler would just take it. He'd probably take the cell phone, too, assuming my Aunt Tina didn't take it first. She's on her cell phone more than I'm on my dog bed so that's a lot.

What I do want is some squeaky toys, the stuffed animal kind, not the rubber ones. Just remember, I'm a little dog so they have to be little, too. I'd also like a really big rawhide bone. I promise that I'll share it with my sister. Even when Mommy gets us both one, we still fight over...I mean share just one of them. It makes Mommy so mad! If you bring Bella one, too, I won't mind. That'll just be more bone for me.

I want some Greenies, too. Just make sure it's a big package. No matter what Bella might have told you, she always steals mine. I can't even turn my back or lick myself for a minute without Blondie taking my Greenie. I ought to steal her stupid lizard and teach her a lesson, but I won't. I don't want to end up on your naughty list at the last minute.

One last thing. I'd like a heated dog bed like the one Rocky has on Little People, Big World. Don't believe Grandma when she tells you that I'd just pee on it and electrocute myself. I'm not that stupid. Plus, unlike certain other dogs I know (i.e. a certain blonde Dachshund at Grandma's house), I don't pee where I sleep.

Woof you,