The other day I went to Wal-mart to get some dog biscuits, a pack of Cokes, and washing powders. While I was in the pet section, I noticed that Wal-mart had already cleared out the garden section and put Christmas decorations and fake Christmas trees in place of the sprinklers and ceramic pots. I inwardly groaned at the sight. It's not that I don't like Christmas; I do. It's just that we haven't even had Halloween and Thanksgiving yet.I also groaned because all that red and green got me thinking about Christmas presents. Assuming that I have a job and money come December, what am I going to buy my family? With the exception of my nephew, they're not the easiest people to buy for. My sister will never tell anyone what she wants, no matter how many times you ask her, and then she gets pissed off Christmas morning when the item that she has been coveting isn't under the tree. After 28 years on this earth, she still doesn't get that we're not mind readers. If we were, we'd be using our superpowers for a lot more interesting things than buying her presents.
My mom used to be easy to shop for back when she had a theme. For instance, she used to collect roosters so, of course, my sister and I would buy her rooster-related gifts for every gift-giving occasion. If it had a rooster on it, we bought it until the one day that my mother finally proclaimed enough. Her kitchen couldn't hold him more knickknacks.
After her rooster period, my mom started collecting blue and white porcelain. Again my sister and I bought every blue and white breakable we could find. However, after awhile, we could tell by the constipated smile on my mother's face when she opened yet another blue and white gift that she, or the shelves in her house anyway, had reached their collective fill, so we stopped.
Now that she's themeless I don't know what to buy. I'd be original and sign her up for a margarita or a wine of the month club, but she'd never get to enjoy it. Anytime my mom buys something alcoholic, my sister drinks it before she can. Once, back when my sister actually used to accompany my mom and my nephew on their visits to Atlanta, my mom bought a wine glass and a bottle of wine to leave at my house. When she left, there was somewhere between 2/3 and 1/2 a bottle left. When they came back a couple of months later, there was the same amount of wine in the bottle. At least, there was on Friday night. My mom went to pour herself a glass of wine on Saturday night and found that my sister had single-handedly consumed all but a few drops of the wine. She was not happy about that fact, and my sister hasn't been back since. Suffice it to say, I need to find something to get my mom that my sister can't or won't take.
The only thing that I can think of at the moment is books. My sister hates to read. Some days I'm not even sure that she knows how. Hopefully, within the next two months, I will be able to come up with something a little more original than books. If I don't, at least books, like fruitcake, are a gift that keeps on giving. My mom will probably give them right back to me for my birthday in February.
