Friday, June 13, 2008

General Hospital's Spinelli: Leave My McGeeky Alone

Like it wasn't bad enough that TPTB at General Hospital had to go and make Nurse Epiphany, once one of the funniest characters on the soap, a real downer by killing off her mobster son Stan. Now they're trying to make Damien Spinelli another Jason/Sonny/Patrick/Jax clone, just so he can be worthy of the Maxinista , i.e. Maxie Jones. Ugh!

Someone please tell why a geek can never get the girl without buffing up, changing his clothes, and talking like James Bond? Why can't he be attractive because he is, in fact, an adorable computer nerd who goes against the soap opera grain and not some former Chippendale's dancer who can barely act?

In my opinion, Spinelli is the best thing that has happened character-wise to GH since AJ drove Jason Quartermaine's head into a tree and the latter woke up Jason Morgan. The hilarious, yet dead on, nicknames that he gives the residents of Port Charles (Stone Cold, the Godfather, Vixenella, the Unworthy One, etc.) and his relationship with Jason (he is to Jason what Jason and Stone were to Sonny) are about the only things that give the show flavor these days. Otherwise, GH is what it has been since I was in high school--The Sonny & Carly Show.

Now don't get me wrong. I love Sonny and Carly, but they're starting to remind me of Victor and Nikki on The Young and the Restless. Since I was a kid, that show has repeated the Victor leaves Nikki for Ashley and then leaves Ashley for Nikki storyline more times than I can count. Every now and then TPTB substitute a different character for Ashley, like Hope or Sabrina, but otherwise the storyline is still the same. All My Children treats Tad and Dixie in a similar manner. One Life to Live has likewise followed suit with its treatment of Todd and Blair. In times of need or low ratings, these daytime shows simply recycle, recycle, recycle.

Currently, General Hospital seems to be doing the Victor-Nikki-Ashley thing again. Just substitute Sonny for Victor, Carly for Nikki, and Kate/Connie for Ashley, and you know how it's all going to end. Mark my words. It's only a matter of time before we find out that Sonny and Carly's quickie in the backseat of the limo created a child, Carly lies and says that the baby is Jax's, Robin finds out and tells Sonny the truth, Sonny buys a judge and gets custody of the child, Carly comes up with some disastrous Carly-plan to pay him back that backfires, Jason has to rescue Carly, and then Carly and Sonny see the light and remarry for the 100th time.

Spinelli is pretty much our only break from these The Sonny & Carly Show reruns. He's also a clumsy, chatty, Orange Crush addicted geek bumbling around in a make-believe world of beautiful people, an almost extinct species of actor on daytime TV. So why can't TPTB leave well enough alone? Why do they have to put Spinelli in leather jackets one minute and designer suits the next, just so he can be more attractive to women? If Wise Georgie could fall in love with the Jackal, laptop, plaid pants, and all, why can't her big sis, the Maxinista, do so as well? Why does Spinelli have to change? Why?

If TPTB decide to make this change permanent, I may just have to change the channel at 3 p.m.
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